Thursday, July 08, 2004

I dunno doesn't sound so bad to me...

The LA Times,in their calendar section which requires paid subscription (bastards!), described the new King Arthur movie in the following way:

Sexed up, tricked out and totally ready to party, "King Arthur" enters the summer fray with consummate New World vulgarity. Set during the 5th century against a backdrop of warring British interests, Roman conquerors and Saxon invaders, this frantic period entertainment retells this beloved Britannic foundation myth with big-bang razzmatazz and high Hollywood camp. It's the Arthurian legends, a PlayStation Passion play and a Jerry Bruckheimer lollapalooza rolled into one.


None of that sounds bad to me. Sexed up? Cool. New World Vulgarity? I'm on board. 5th Century? Excellent. Big Bang razzmatazz and high Hollywood camp? Don't get enough of that. Too many artistes out there anyway.

Besides no one really knows anything about King Arthur as it is. He is a shadowy figure from Britain's past. What time period is he from anyway? You can read Cretien, the French Vulgate, Mallory, or modern schlock. None of it is historically accurate. It can't really be. It has to be thematic. So Cretien focuses on "Courtly Love," with no surprises. Mallory on religion and ties to the land of England, once again no surprises.

Now I haven't seen this film, I will tommorrow, but action fiesta with no love triangle sounds like just what I need.

I can just see it now, Baz Luhrman's Camelot!. Hip hop, garish costumes, and automatic weapons, where Arthur is a Ballroom Dancer and Lancelot is the young upcoming Dance Instructor. They both meet the mousie Gwen, and both their lives are uplifted, that is until Lance's dark past intersects with Artie's tragic family relation to a crime sydicate. Culminating in Artie once again using the Sniper rifle he used so effectively in the First Gulf War to rid the world of the evil Radio Mogul Rupert Mordred. In the end, Art doesn't get love of the girl, but she remains his dance partner and they win Ballroom championship after championship. All while advised by Jam Master Merlin MC. Ahh... Now that's what I call High Concept.
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